‘We studied in the same college!’

I watched Richa with my still startled eyes as she minced out the words. She was unpredictable as always.

“Meet Mukta, my wife!” – I introduced my wife realizing a few moments more of silence and our staring at each other would raise some eye brows. Somehow I just wanted to escape from there at that moment, more so after I realized Mukta wasn’t liking it at all that we bumped into this old friend of mine when all we planned before coming here was to spend time with each other , only the two of us. It’s been a long time since we took a vacation and the way we spent the last two days, it felt like we were just reliving those moments when we first met and fell in love. With not a worry of the world to bother you, with nothing to think about except the two of us, we were sort of in our second honeymoon. So when unexpectedly we bumped into my old friend this evening in the hotel lobby, she didn’t quite like it. Even though she was trying hard to pretend otherwise.

Even I was trying to pretend. Pretend that she was just an old friend. Though by the time our short introductions were over and we were at the hotel restaurant having tea together at her husband’s insistence, my mind was already wondering in two places. Nodding each time Richa said some story about us from the past, boasting how good friends we were and all, and at the same time wondering to the real past.

‘I don’t think you are there in any of our wedding photographs’ – Richa’s husband said, obviously what he meant was different. I bet he hadn’t had a look at his wedding photographs for time long enough to remember who all are in the photographs.

‘No! I couldn’t make it to the wedding!’ – I said, unable to come up with a better answer. How could I tell that I spent that whole night wide awake locked in my room thinking about Richa and I and what went wrong? We were happy, Richa and me. From the day we knew each other and through the days we became friends, to the day we promised each other to live for each other forever, everything was perfect. Dreams, promises, the roadside chat, the weekend movies, everything was just perfect. And no we were not college mates, neither do I remember which subjects she used to study while in college and I bet she doesn’t remember mine. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Soon after the introduction we discovered our common interest in music, I was the lead guitarist of my struggling band and she was a vocalist in her college band. One thing led to the other and soon she was a regular visitor in our band’s practice sessions either practicing with us or just watching us practice.

 ‘How’s you guitar practice? Is the band still there?’

I wondered at the timing of the question, as I was just thinking about it. I could picture a tangent smile glowing around the corner of my lips.

‘No time for those stuffs now. And the band broke up long back.’ – I have answered this many times to many people. And every time I did, I felt sad. It was more than a band we had. We dreamt to make it big, worked hard, made many sacrifices for it, but ultimately one day we lost the battle. The band broke up and we all left to pursue what people had been trying to convince us as more important things in life like having a job, getting married etc. But wait ,did she smile?

Did I see that correctly? I was sure I did. It was a smile of a win. Like, she implied to tell what couldn’t with words with that cunning smile. ‘You see, I knew it!’ That’s what the smile was saying. And I couldn’t protest. Though I know I was not wrong either. In pursuing those wild ambitions, trying so hard, making each and every other thing less important in life, neither of it was wrong. What was wrong of course was that in the end we lost. And it’s true that she told it before. She tried convincing me many times, not to waste time with the band and try for some real job. Only I was confident that we would make it big one day. And we were progressing too. It was just a matter of time, and time was what she didn’t have.

As we walked outside the hotel to take a walk at the neighborhood, after saying goodbye to my old friend and her husband, Mukta held my left hand and brought herself closer. So close I could feel her breathe. I was still recovering from my memory rides. May be she felt something wasn’t quite right but luckily she didn’t ask me anything.  She was just talking endlessly as usual showing me each and everything that interested her. Her constant talking and questions slowly brought me back to reality. For the next hour we roamed aimlessly watching people, window shopping, enjoying the roadside chat.

‘Such a lovely evening!’ – She almost whispered in my ears. Though it looked like just another evening to me.

As I watched her talk about how good time she was having, a strange sense of guilt gripped me. She was so lost in herself, so unmindful of the surroundings, unaware of the storm devastating my mind. There were times when I spent a lifetime deciding on certain things. But strangely this time I knew what to do even before I gave it a thought. I looked into her eyes for a moment, pulled her closer and said “I have something to tell you!”